Back to Work

It's officially been a week that I've been back at work.  I must say, I am drained emotionally.  There have been highs and there have been lows.  Here's a recap of how it went.

 Last Thursday was my first day.  The morning went well.  I woke early enough to have some coffee and read the paper (I haven't done that since Gabriel's birth), and just when I was ready to jump in the shower, Gabriel woke and wanted to eat.  So I fed him and typically after that we have "party time" in bed, but this morning's party time had to be with Daddy only.  =(  I quickly showered and got dressed and was able to enjoy a few more minutes of cuddling before I had to head out.  Surprisingly, there where no tears (from me) when I got into the car.  It was actually nice to be out and about before noon!  I enjoyed the drive to work.  And of course it was so nice to see everyone at the office.  I was in adult land and hardly thought about the baby (sorry Gabriel). 

Friday was very similar to Thursday.  I was happy to be back at work and comfortable knowing that Gabriel was being looked after by people who love him.  And plus it was time for the weekend!  I must say to all moms who have to return to work after baby, definitely do it on a Thursday.  It's much easier to handle knowing that the weekend is very close. 


The weekend was fabulous.  We visited Grandma, Uncle Al, and Sunday some good friends came over for dinner.  But how quickly time flies.  Next thing I knew it was Monday morning.


The initial excitement of returning to work has since worn off.  Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were very long days.  Each day at lunch, I drive home to feed Gabriel and it is very hard to leave.  And I have a lot of time to myself at work to think about him.  There have been tears.  I had no idea it would be this hard.  And the most heartbreaking part is when I do come home to him in the evenings, he's usually fussy.  Or he doesn't want to eat out of the bottle thoughout the day, so when he finally gets a meal from me, he quickly passes out from a full belly.  My friends that are also working mothers say that it does get easier.  And I do take comfort in the fact that he is being cared for by people who love him, in his own home.  But it's hard not to be sad and wallow a little bit.  Especially when I learned that I missed his first laugh (more tears). 





Wallowing.