We have a Third Monster

I'm not sure if it's the teething, growth spurt or maybe an illness, but this picture sums up the type of baby I delt with last night.  Luckily, he exhausted himself around 6pm.  Good grief, he couldn't be pleased with anything, even the boob.  I guess he was tired because he slept 13 hours straight (minus a couple of dream feeds, but he wasn't awake really).  I thought he would be freshed this morning, but after about an hour of playtime, again this monster reared his ugly head.  So back down to sleep he went.  I can easily say this was the first time I looked forward to going to work.  =(  Have fun Grandma!

Lesson Learned

Just when you think you are getting the whole parenting thing down, they throw you a curve ball.  Let me start by saying we have been very, very lucky to get such a happy, easy baby.  Gabriel is a great sleeper, usually going for 12 hours a night.  He rarely cries (with Mommy at least), and when he does I can typically fix him pretty quick.  Last night, however, was a different story.

Basically, I tried to put him to bed.  Mistake number one.  He didn't want any part of it.  I think all Mothers go through this.  You think to yourself, "okay, I'll try for 20 more minutes and if he's not asleep, I'll let him play."  So after 30 minutes, I put him in the bouncy thing and let him have at it.  He would be happy for about 10 minutes then start fussing so again, I tried sleep.  Nope, still not having it.  More play, more fuss, more trying to sleep, and repeat.  You get where I'm going.  This went on for about 2 hours.  And let me go back to the whole "getting parenting down" part.  See, bed time has been a particularly enjoyable time of day.  I give him a bath, we read a book or two, and it's off to a happy, cuddly sleep.  So last night, in the beginning of the meltdown I'm thinking to myself, "once he's asleep I'll have a nice dinner, maybe take a bath, and do some blogging."  And that was mistake number two.  Making plans.  You should never EVER make plans when dealing with a baby.  They make the plans and once you accept this, life will be easy.  As my mother says, "everything will be okay once he trains you properly.  And he's working on it."  So my hat's off to you sweet boy.  Last night you were a particularly difficult boss, but I'm learning so please bare with me.  Mommy loves you! 

Before and After

My little man will be six months old Sunday.  I'm having mixed feelings about it that I won't get into but rather, I'll share some before and after photos.

Before Gabriel was 6 months old (3 weeks to be exact)

After Gabriel was 6 months old (almost)



Before

 

After

Before

After

Happy 1/2 Birthday Little Man.

Midnight Rider

The past few nights, Gabriel has been waking around 3:30 am, ready to party.  So after several attempts to nurse him back to sleep, I eventually surrender, get up and put him in the swing.  He rides that swing like it's a freaking horse, and here's the proof, specifically for Grandma.  I know she enjoys this. (Warning - horrible, dark video...but I needed the proof).

Bath Time

Looking back, I'll never forget the day when I was about 5 months pregnant and I suddenly realized I was going to have to change diapers.  When you are trying to have a baby, you think about everything.  The costs, the lifestyle changes, the sleepless nights, the style of parenting you want to attempt (yeah right).  But for some reason, this small responsibility took me by surprise.  I think I called Melissa in a panic, something like "I'm going to have to change diapers!?!"  And so I started thinking about the other small chores that came with raising a child.  Bath time was specifically one chore that I was dreading.  After a long day, who wants to deal with washing a dirty baby, drying him off, diapering and applying lotion, and read him a book?  To a very pregnant woman, it sounded like a lot of work.  But now, my attitude definitely has changed.  Bath time is my most favorite time of day!  I love how we no longer spend the evening in front of the television and instead, enjoy of few special moments winding down as a family.  Here he is, caught in the act. 

And in a completely unrelated topic, here is how I caught Kirk walking Gabriel in the jogging stroller.  Please don't call Child Protectives Services on us.  I told him it was a no no.

Single Mom

Kirk was away on a business trip this past week and his absence has made me realize how hard it must be to be a single parent.  On a typical day, I usually come home from work to a cooked dinner.  We share doggie duties and both make an effort to keep the house straightened.  Grandma helps with the baby, but always at my house.  This past week was a little different.

Tuesday Gabriel had to go to Auntie Melissa's house while I worked because Grandma wasn't available.  With Kirk gone, I had to get up extra early (5 am) to shower and dress for work, get Gabriel ready, load up the car with all of the necessary baby gear, and drive over to her house for the drop off.  From there I headed to work.  At lunch, in the pouring rain, I drove back to Melissa's to feed Gabriel.  After work, it was back to Melissa's to pick up Gabriel, stop for gas, and finally head home.  Once home, it was bath time!  After bath, book, and boob, it was bed time (730).  At this point, I was ready for dinner but definitely not in the mood to cook and do dishes, so I threw together a quick salad with some leftover salmon, corn and goat cheese.  I ate, then straightened the kitchen and got the coffee ready for the next day.  I feed the dogs, threw a load of laundry in the wash, folded another, and got the house as clean as I could.  I gave the dogs needed attention and food but we had to skip the walk because it was raining and I couldn't leave a baby alone.  Once they were attended to, I washed my face, brushed me teeth, and quickly fell asleep at 930, only to start over the next day.  Fortunately, Grandma was available and coming over to my house. 

In summary, my hats off to single mommies and daddies.  I don't know how you do it all.  And to my dear husband, you are so greatly appreciated.

Note - Here's a photo of Gabriel sleeping on Auntie Melissa's belly.  I told her I usually put Gabriel down for naps by laying down with him, putting him on my chest and patting his back.  Her belly got in the way so they had to reconfigure.  

Cousins

Benjamin was kind enough to come over for a play date.  I cannot believe that Gabriel is old enough to "play".  Excuse me while I sob into my sleeve.  My little man is growing up so fast.  Have I mentioned he is working on his second tooth?  He will be five months tomorrow.  More sobs. 

Grateful

I've been back to work for over a month now, but for some reason, today was just as hard as the first.  I didn't want to leave this morning, and the last thing I saw as I grabbed my keys and opened the door was sweet Gabriel eying me up.  It made me feel even more sad because it seemed as if he knew I would be gone for a while.  Of course, he's only 4 months and he was probably just eying up my breast, but it didn't matter.  Today was hard.  I am hoping for some big changes in The Martin Family soon, but in the meantime, today I am grateful.  I am grateful my husband saw I was struggling and picked up a sweet card to brighten my day.  It reads, "I know things are tough right now, but just remember - every flower that ever bloomed had to go through a whole lot of dirt to get there!"  And I am also grateful for this tub of lovin' and the few special moments we shared today.

Back to Work

It's officially been a week that I've been back at work.  I must say, I am drained emotionally.  There have been highs and there have been lows.  Here's a recap of how it went.

 Last Thursday was my first day.  The morning went well.  I woke early enough to have some coffee and read the paper (I haven't done that since Gabriel's birth), and just when I was ready to jump in the shower, Gabriel woke and wanted to eat.  So I fed him and typically after that we have "party time" in bed, but this morning's party time had to be with Daddy only.  =(  I quickly showered and got dressed and was able to enjoy a few more minutes of cuddling before I had to head out.  Surprisingly, there where no tears (from me) when I got into the car.  It was actually nice to be out and about before noon!  I enjoyed the drive to work.  And of course it was so nice to see everyone at the office.  I was in adult land and hardly thought about the baby (sorry Gabriel). 

Friday was very similar to Thursday.  I was happy to be back at work and comfortable knowing that Gabriel was being looked after by people who love him.  And plus it was time for the weekend!  I must say to all moms who have to return to work after baby, definitely do it on a Thursday.  It's much easier to handle knowing that the weekend is very close. 


The weekend was fabulous.  We visited Grandma, Uncle Al, and Sunday some good friends came over for dinner.  But how quickly time flies.  Next thing I knew it was Monday morning.


The initial excitement of returning to work has since worn off.  Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were very long days.  Each day at lunch, I drive home to feed Gabriel and it is very hard to leave.  And I have a lot of time to myself at work to think about him.  There have been tears.  I had no idea it would be this hard.  And the most heartbreaking part is when I do come home to him in the evenings, he's usually fussy.  Or he doesn't want to eat out of the bottle thoughout the day, so when he finally gets a meal from me, he quickly passes out from a full belly.  My friends that are also working mothers say that it does get easier.  And I do take comfort in the fact that he is being cared for by people who love him, in his own home.  But it's hard not to be sad and wallow a little bit.  Especially when I learned that I missed his first laugh (more tears). 





Wallowing.



It's 4:43

And I have only 17 more minutes before I can leave my office and speed home to my baby.  Today was my first day back at work and it went about as well as can be expected.  Luckily I was swamped all day and I didn't have too many opportunities to cry.  I did, however, shed some tears when my sweet sister-in-law brought me a care package of Hello Kitty office supplies, lip balm, and a frozen coffee beverage.  The card was the kicker.  She's such a sweet person.  And one interesting thing happened...lol...I actually "let down" when I was having a conversation with a co-worker about crying babies.  Teehee, I didn't even have to hear it...just think it.  A woman's body is wondrous thing.  Happily heading home now.

Mommy Meltdown

After a very lazy day yesterday, I woke up this morning thinking I was going to be very productive.  Gabriel woke me up around 7:30, so we got up.  I changed his diaper and fed him, but he still seemed sleepy so I put him in the swing and he was out like a light.  I put him back in the bed with me for a quick nap.  We woke at 10:30.  "Sweet," I thought.  We got lots of rest and were prepared for a busy day of jogging, laundry, cooking, ect.  So we headed out to go for a run.  After about 10 minutes on the trail, Gabriel started to scream.  I picked him up and immediately noticed that he had had a BM.  I was actually happy about this because he hadn't gone in a few days and seemed fussy.  And because I knew it was going to be a big one, I though better to turn around and go home to change him because it would be messy for sure. 

So we cleaned up at home and before heading out again, I thought "why not have a quick feeding?"  He ate...the ate some more...the ate some more...then puked all over himself and me.  Okay, I can handle this.  Time for a bath!  So I did and we headed out again.

He fell asleep immediately and I was able to enjoy the outdoors.  Until it started pouring.  I looked up at the sky and wondered why I was getting drenched because there was blue sky everywhere else but above me.  No big deal.  It was hot out so the rain felt good and Gabriel was covered thanks to the B.O.B Revolution. 

After I finished running, I still had about 1.5 miles to walk, so I made a few phone calls to schedule a hair cut and baby sitter for tomorrow.  During one phone call, Gabriel started screaming so I took him out of the stroller.  My hand touched upon something sticky and wet.  He had had another BM, this time MUCH bigger than the last.  Shit.  Literally.  We still had over a mile before we got to the car.   Oh well, I can handle this.

So after another bath, he was clean and fed.   Next on the to do list was a quick trip to South Daytona.  A few weeks ago I purchase a pair of shoes online and accidently had them shipped to our old address.  I put Gabriel in the car and started driving.  He was pissed.  He started to cry.  He made sounds like I've never imagined.  SCREAMING doesn't describe it.  "I can handle it," I thought.  I'm going to pick up my favorite shoes.  But no luck there.  As I pulled up to the house there was a FOR RENT sign in the yard and no packages delivered on the front porch.  I called the landlord.  She had not received any packages for me.  Crap.  I was seriously disappointed.  Big sigh, let's go home.

Gabriel SCREAMED the whole way.  I started thinking, WTF.  This was supposed to be a good day?  The events started adding up in my head and I realized I was having a shitty freaking day.  And to top it off there was a screaming infant in my back seat.  And I was out money due to the lack of shoes.  And I was still soaking wet from our run.  And I hadn't even had a shower.  And it was almost 5 o'clock.

Looking back, I have to give myself credit.  Somewhere between these events I managed to do two loads of laundry, empty a dishwasher, cook two chicken breasts for chicken salad, and have a visit with my Dad.  So maybe my day was productive.  All I know is this mommy is physically drained, and my baby is pissed because he had to endure two heavy bowl movements, two baths, and a long car trip to nowhere.  And then his mommy stuck him in the swing.  By himself  BAD MOMMY.  What can I say?